Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
