Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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