He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
