dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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