is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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