do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
