Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She even gives head with a lisp.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
