Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They took my balls.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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