$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
