Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
