We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
