We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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