Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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