Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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