I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
