He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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