the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
