The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
