never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
