I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
