And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
