I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Fuck appropriateness.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
