am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
These tits shall not be calmed
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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