there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
