You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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