he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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