Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
