I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
