Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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