She said her name was "party"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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