I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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