I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Randomize
