Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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