Quick, to the slutcave!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
