Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
