last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
