I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
