So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
