YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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