im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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