Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
