I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
