my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
