he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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