Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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