The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
