she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
