It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
