There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize