very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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