We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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