It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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