I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize