Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
