I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
